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Wrestling Etiquette
How to find the perfect match
by WrestlerVic@aol.com

Navigating through the "for reals" and "flakes" of the wrestling world can be quite a task. After talking to several people and from my own experiences, I've found these tips to be most helpful in finding the right guys to wrestle with while treating everyone with respect in the process.

1. GET A PICTURE
If you hit it off with someone online and they do not have a picture, ask for one. Exchanging pictures is a good way of easing the meeting because you will feel accepted and less apprehensive about a BLIND meeting. It is not fair to tell a person to "take you for your word" that you are attractive. Funny thing is, some people are afraid to take pictures because they are not happy with how they look, even though they may be someone's IDEAL type! So, give it a shot. Anyone that does not want to send you a recent picture (with a head), drop 'em. Ask for two pictures if the person seems to be "too good to be true". By the way, if you're married, straight, work for the CIA, whatever, sending a full picture (with head) does not say "I'm gay", it's just a picture. It means you are for real.

2. BE SPECIFIC ABOUT YOUR WANTS
After exchanging pictures and talks continue online, be very specific about the style of wrestling you enjoy and what holds you like. Determine if you like to play the role of a jobber (submissive), a heel (dominant), or both in your match. If you would like the match to get erotic, say so. Online is an excellent way of stating the things that you enjoy that may otherwise be hard to say in person.

3. TAKE IT TO THE PHONE
As soon as you sense a connection with someone online, and have had several conversations, and exchanged pictures, start talking on the phone from then on. This will bring a sense of realism to the meeting and will give you a clue of whether or not the person is seriously interested in meeting to wrestle. If they can not be specific about what they want, or when they might want to meet, or if they do not want to talk on the phone, drop 'em. Time is better spent on others. If you are not interested in meeting someone, politely say "It was nice talking to you, but I do not feel that we are compatible or ready to meet right now." Better to be truthful than lead someone on.

4. SET A DATE
This has to be the part that truly separates the men from the boys--actually scheduling and following through with a meeting. After a phone conversation where you both feel comfortable, try to figure out a time and date that would be good for both of you to meet. "I should be available sometime next week" is not specific enough. If there is a genuine interest, people can MAKE the effort to set a date and time to meet, just as they would for any other event.

If someone continually can't set a date, don't waste your time no matter how good they sound online. Talk is cheap, action is where it's at. If someone is wishy-washy, politely say "It was nice talking to you" or "call me when you can set a date and time to meet". Only deal with people that SHARE your enthusiasm to get together.

5. MAKE THE DATE!
This is the most crucial step in the process that will determine whether you or the other person is a "flake". People set time aside for you, work extra hard to prepare their homes and mats for you, you should return that effort with an equal amount of respect by showing up on time. ALWAYS call the night before to confirm the meeting, and ALWAYS have the one that travels call you when they are on their way. Tell them on the phone "I am taking your word that you will be here on this date and time".

6. THE MEETING
Words and pictures are great in building a hot wrestling scenario between two people, but you mustn't let that overtake your expectations when meeting someone in person. Don't judge someone the moment you or they get out of the car. Put each other at ease and be polite. Hug right away if you can (a bearhug is a great opener). REMEMBER, if you've talked enough on the phone or online about your desires, your MINDS are already there. This is a good thing. Spend a little time getting comfortable, and find a way to loosen yourself up. Wine and beer work great.

Reiterate your rules and likes before your match and slowly work into each other's comfort zones making sure you have your "I give" or tap-out specifics in place. It's better to start out slow than be overly aggressive. Take some time after the match to get to know someone too. You may learn things that will help develop a good friendship or more. Remember, you both are new to each other. Just do not JUDGE someone on one meeting. If you feel good enough, meet several times if you can. It does get better the second time around, and maybe even hotter!

7. BACKUP PLAN
Have a backup plan if the person you are meeting does not seem safe or sane or does not wish to host you. This would include money for a hotel, or other people in the area to visit should you be traveling some distance to meet this person. If you promise to host someone at your place, be specific if that means that you are allowing them to crash there for the night, or just allowing them to wrestle on your mats. "Host" means different things to different people. Don't throw decent people out in the cold just because you feel no chemistry for them. Find other things for you two to do. Remember, they made an effort to come see you, so treat them with the same respect you'd like to be treated with.

8. AFTER THE LOVIN', KEEP IT PRIVATE
Whether you wrestle competitively, erotically, or both, try to keep your opinions on your experience to yourself. Your opinions on someone are all subjective to that one given time and circumstances. If someone asks how someone was, simply reply "I had a good time" or "that's private". It's not fair to tell someone, "he was so-so" etc. Everyone will see everyone else in a different way, just as you will be seen in different ways by different people. NEVER judge someone through someone else's eyes, ie, referrals are only someone else's opinions and could prevent you from having one of the best times of your life.

9. FOLLOW-UP
Remember when you use to get thank you notes from visiting friends? This is no different. It does not hurt to take a moment to send an email or a card to a person that you just met, even if only for wrestling.

10. LET'S WRESTLE!
I couldn't think of a number 10, so just have fun. It's all good!

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